Hi all.

So anyway i think i'm losing my mind. Get this: i met this 40 year old woman. She's a heart surgeon from the other side of the country and i won't really be able to see her. The thing is i'm madly in love with this woman. Completly and utterly. Its crazy! I'm 17, what the hell do i have to offer her? All i have to offer is my heart. I cant even f*cking drink legally. Crazy huh?
She's been married, divorced, had a child that was killed in a hijacking. Its crazy. She's so experienced and wise and i dont know sh*t. Sure i've had my share of pain and trauma in my life but i don't actually know how to address this.
I am so in love with her its scary. She's drop dead gorgeous too but thats beside the point. I love her so much. She wants to have my baby, that cant be normal now can it?

Why am i writing this? Nobody's going to read it! Its just a pointless waste of time to keep me from jumping out a window. How about this, if someone, anyone is reading this then please reply so i know i'm not alone in the world! It would be very much appreciated from a suicidal guy.

Have you ever had one of those days when you just think life is pointless? Why dont you just end it all? Well then, welcome to my world! I really dont think anyone would actually miss me. I dont know why i dont actually do it. Why dont i just kill myself? I'm too scared, thats why. I cant even be man enough to put myself out of misery! Brilliant! Wonderful!!!!

Anyway, i'm not going to waste the readers time any longer (if anyone's actually reading this).
Bye all....